AT A LOSS

In the later years of my mums life, it's fair to say she was suffering from a high level of hearing loss. Though it's no joking matter when one of your main senses starts to degrade, at times it was quite comical. Like most people she denied there was an issue. On occasion answers she would give to a question would come back wrong, because she genuinely hadn't heard you. But at other times she would compensate by trying to guess what someone had just said. I recall well on one occasion, as a late teens young man on my way out for the evening, I said to her; "That's me off now. I'll likely be late", to which the response was "I'm not sure but I think I saw some in the kitchen cupboard".

A good number of years ago I started to notice my brother's hearing was going the same way, and now he is really bad. He tells me he has hearing aids but doesn't use them as "they don't work". I suspect the real reason is the same sort of denial of the problem, because let's be honest, a chunky device sitting visibly on the back of your ear is ageing.

Many of my friends will tell you that my hearing is also becoming quite bad. I'm not in denial, and will happily tell people when I haven' heard them that my hearing is poor. My job is starting to be affected as well. I have a large number of young children in my classes, and their voices are in the higher frequency bracket, and these are the sounds my brain is not processing anymore.

The other down side of this affliction is that some people, probably not meaning to, can be quite hurtful. I rarely say anything in response, but sometimes it is quite upsetting. They will repeat something to me, for say a third time, but in a slow, loud and sarcastic manner. If I was in a wheel chair, or blind, would they be so sarcastic with that disability?

So recently I took the plunge and started the process of having hearing aids fitted. I too am aware of the ageing affect of them, and decided at the outset that I would be going for something that was almost invisible.

The tests took about an hour, during which time a very clever computer programme built up an accurate picture of my hearing abilities, after which the consultant talked me through the various options and models. And there are many. I had no idea what I was looking at. The only parameter I had was that I wanted them to be as discreet as possible, with the added consideration of price, for these devices are expensive.

There were two suggestions, one being double the price of the other, due to being made of titanium. But I still didn't know what I was supposed to choose. All the models had a chart displaying each devices capabilities, but this did little to help my decision.

Finally she attached a demo model to each ear, and programmed them with what the computer had analysed as my needs. She then said she was going to play some bird song. After a few seconds she asked if I could hear it.

Nope. Total silence.

That was because she hadn't turned them on yet.

Then she activated them.

To say it was an emotional experience is the biggest understatement of the year! It was incredible. I could hear so much, and they were only operating at 80% capability. Even the crumpling of my jacket was really noticeable, and my own voice sounded strange, with higher frequency sounds such as a sniff seeming embarrassingly loud. She advised me not to have them at 100% to begin with, as it would be too much too soon. My brain had to have time to readjust to processing sounds it hasn't heard for years.

This time next month I predict the quality of my life is going to improve a great deal. Hopefully the impatience and sarcasm from people around me may also stop. But I'm most looking forward to being able to make out what my students are asking me, hearing the Robin in the garden and geese flying overhead on my adventures in the Scottish wilds.